Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Writers and Sanitizer

We writers are very vain things. We ask for input and then get it from a very reliable source (like a teacher) and then huff and blow it off. “What do THEY know? It’s my story, right?” Sure, it’s your story, but if you want anyone else to read Your Story, or if you want Your Story to be a Good Story, then you have to listen to the wise and powerful editor, even if that editor is just your teacher. Take that back – ESPECIALLY if that editor is your teacher. Of course, you come back to it a year later, read the story, read the comments and go “Huh, yeah, guess they were right after all.” We could save so much time if we just listened in the first place. I guess everyone’s like that, though, so long as they believe they are ‘talented’. The family watched America’s Got Talent tonight and some of these people seriously need their friends and family to just be honest and say, “You’ll always be good in my eyes, honey, but for the love of all things good and holy, don’t EVER do that in public.”

I also went back today to get fingerprinted and I actually came at the right time. I felt like a cow. Once the guy behind the window saw my papers he asked for my hands, yanked them under the window and filled them with disinfectant. I’m not sure if that’s regulation or whether this guy is the next Monk. After I had properly lathered the stinky stuff all over my hands the guy opened the door and led me to a back room where he requested each hand before yanking it forward and pressing the correct fingers on the scanner. Then I got a mug shot – or something like it – taken. I am not a good picture person, people. Once I’d had a truly awful picture taken, however, the guy seemed to decide that he’d bossed me around enough, so he shoved a comment card in my hand and sent me on my way. I am sorry to say that I dressed more like a gypsy again than like Neo. Maybe next time.

I really don’t know why I bother with free weights. My niece is heavy enough, and I DARE you to resist when she comes up with her arms up and her bottom lip out.

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